The NFL season FINALLY kicks off tonight, and not a moment too soon. If not for football we might have to trust the writers of Heroes to keep us entertained, and just how did that work out last year?

Appropriately enough, the Superbowl Champion Giants are starting things off by hosting the Redskins. Now, fans of the New York Football Giants love their squad, but we at IGN think the chances of a Big Blue repeat in 2009 are about as good as Clemens’ chances of being clean.

Here’s why:

9. No Osi Umenyiora
A lack of Strahan leaves a giant gap in your defense (couldn’t resist that one), but Osi was the one who led the team putting up 13 sacks and 5 forced fumbles (just one more than Eli coughed up) last year. But in 2008, Umenyiora will be nursing a bum knee on the sideline.

 

Osi and I will be watching from our cribs.

8. No Michael Strahan
Strahan turned down the Giants offer to bring him out of retirement–and the New York world was stunned that the money hungry divorcee took a job offering less cash. But while the overture was funny and predictable, Strahan’s decision does in fact have a big impact on the Giants ability to pressure the quarterback. There is no backfill for Osi and without Strahan as a replacement, there is no tandem that can replicate a fraction of what was done in the Super Bowl.

 

Strahan shows everyone how wide his gap is.

7. The Rest of the Defense
Can you name the Giants’ outside linebackers? We can’t! Gerris Wilkinson at the Will has 43 tackles in 2 years and journeyman Danny Clark had his best season 3 years ago with Oakland. And we all know that Oakland didn’t have anyone else! With the outside being weak, a lot of pressure is on soon-to-be 30 year old Antonio Pierce to stop the run!

The Giants D shows off their speed.

6. The Schedule
Last year New York rode a ridiculous road victory streak to the Super Bowl. Sorry, it’s not happening again. They have 6 killer division games against the Cowboys (best NFC team), the Eagles (now healthy and contending) and the Redskins (vastly improved). Add Seattle, Pittsburgh, Cleveland and Minnesota and that is a series of 10 tough games. They could at least try to indulge their fans by improving on their 3-5 home record from last year.

Rick Ross has an easier schedule than the 2008 Giants.

5. Plaxico Burress
Their stud receiver spent the summer complaining, holding out and being injured–not good mixes for any ace, especially when your quarterback is Eli Manning. We don’t get the sense from Plax that he has the drive and motivation that he (and his teammates) had last year. He looks complacent and worried about his own skinny, ratty, Asante Samuel-burning, ass.

Plaxico dials this season in.

4. They Traded Away Shockey
Lose-Lose scenario. Those 2 rookies they’re getting for him in 2009 will be really useful this November. Meanwhile Jeremy Shockey will join the witness protection program at the Superdome.

Shockey finds out he’s going to the Saints.

3. Curse of the Carr
For no other reason besides they have brought the “Curse of Carr” among them! Carr compiled an impressive 23-52 record as a starter with Houston. And then upon slinking away as a backup in Carolina, the Panthers went 2-4 in games which Carr played. Better hope Eli doesn’t go down!

Carr does something he’s good at.

2. The Pressure is off Coughlin Now
Which means he’ll be even less effective than he usually is. Now that he’s got the cred of a fresh Superbowl ring, expectations for his head to roll won’t be nearly as high as they were last year, or the year before, or the year before that; which means we could see the beginning of a dynasty of mediocrity. Or rather, the rejuvenation of one.

Coughlin reviews his favorite section of the paper.

1. Eli Manning
Sure, he won the Super Bowl MVP. Can’t take that away from him. In fact, it even somewhat makes up for the otherwise dismal year he turned in in 2007, where his 23 touchdowns to a whopping 20 interceptions were good enough for a 73.9 QB rating.  Joey Harrington posted a better rating last year. The Super Bowl ring won’t make up for another disappointing year in 2008, however, where Eli will fail once again to reach a QB rating of at least 80.

 My name is Eli Manning. I’m 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I’ll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now…

At least one IGN user already predicted the Giants will lose their home opener to the Redskins by 10 (not a huge leap given their 3-5 home record last year):

echinsuocha1: Redskins by 10, look for a strong 4th quarter push…Tied in the 3rd skins score a field goal first then a TD with 2:30 to go. Giants won’t capitalize

So, what do you think will happen this year?

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