NASCAR driver Jeremy Mayfield recently tested positive for methamphetamines during a random drug test at Richmond International Raceway and honestly who can blame him?! NASCAR is a boring ass sport that consists mostly of 500 laps around an oval track, making nothing but left turns. Personally I think that drugs would actually make NASCAR more watchable! Every race drivers should get a choice of smoking weed, snorting cocaine or pounding a case of beer, because at least that way the drivers would get a chance to experience what it’s like to be a fan of NASCAR.

Given all of the recent public turmoil of the once feared “Big Papi” it came as a relief to Red Sox nation, myself included, to see David Ortiz casually waddle around the bases instead of putter back to the dugout after yet another pop up or strike out. Before the game Ortiz said his dad, who flew in before the game, gave him the advice that “It’s not going to get worse than this.” I am just hoping that Alex Rodriguez’s cousin was no where near that flight or Papi’s dad in 48 hours leading to his Beantown arrival. Too many anti-Boston fans have been murmuring Ortiz’s name with the dreaded acronym (PEDs) since the blood tests of the traveling circus show that is Manny Ramirez revealed testosterone levels that would make Chuck Norris jealous. But that is something that is a topic that I will avoid for now.

After yesterday’s deflating 0-7, when is it time to give up hope on David Ortiz?

THANK GOD!!! What I mean is, thank god I didn’t draft Manny Ramirez in any of my drafts. For all of you who did, I cant really blame you at the time, but right now that pick is biting you in the you know what. Major League Baseball suspended Manny yesterday for 50 games due to taking a banned substance known as hGC. Now, I’m not here to discuss the ramifications that this will have on his career, but I am here to discuss how it will hurt your fantasy team.

New Term: Anyone who is hung over, stoned or just happens to be feeling or looking like crap will now be termed as looking a little “Hatton-ish”. Thusly anyone who in the words of Smokey “Got Knocked the F*ck out” will be said to have gotten “Hattoned”.

…and Manny Ramirez jumps on board! He joins fellow passengers A-Rod, Roger Clemens, Jose Canseco and Barry Bonds who are watching their coveted professional baseball careers vanish into thin air and for what..the desire to be bigger, stronger and faster than the guy standing next in line at the batter’s box?